Sydney ROCKED!

Aren't we all GORGEOUS!

Sydney was absolutely fantastic. I was sooooo nervous when I got off the plane, but as soon as I saw 5 smiling faces waiting for me at the arrival gate, all my nerves vanished.

There were 6 of us to start, with the other 2 joining us on Saturday morning. Friday was filled with McDonalds, cocktails, shopping, and a decadent spa. Total fun.

On Saturday myself and one other went to pick up the Brisbanite from the airport and we met the other Sydney-sider at the apartments. Finally we were all together!

Lots more shopping and walking on Saturday (bound to be some bonus points in there), nipple piercings, drooling over shoes and clothes, a sighting of a celebrity who I didnt recognise but sent the other girls in raptures, then back to the apartments to get prettied up for our dinner cruise.

Sydney at night is simply beautiful, especially from a boat on the harbour! I took lots of photos (most of them shocking) of the Harbour Bridge all lit up. I amazed myself at my restraint on the alcohol.... my mouth was busy talking rather than drinking and secretly, I was terrified I would come a drunken cropper in my fantastic new shoes. Lol

There was dancing and karaoke for some of us after the cruise and some interesting stories the next morning about events at the pub . All innocent fun :)

Sunday was kicked off with a sneaky sauna while the other girls slept, followed by chocolate, more shopping and a glorious breakfast. What could be better than wedges covered in cheese!! Yum!

Departure time came around far too fast. One by one we peeled off, back to the airport to board our flights back home. Lots of hugs, a few held back tears (or perhaps that was just me) and back to everyday life again.

I had a great time and desperately hope that we make this an annual event. I missed my boys, but not nearly as much as I thought I would. I ate my weight in junk and dont regret a single bite. Weekends like this do not come around often and we all vowed to make the most of it. Back to tracking from yesterday and upping the water to detox the system :)

To my girls if you read this: You are absolutely amazing. I knew this before we met, but to now have deepened our friendship even further by meeting..... I simply cant explain how much I love and respect you all. You are a fantastic bunch, so genuine, caring, accepting and I cant remember the last time I laughed so much. I recall looking around the table at the pub on Friday night and realising that I felt so content. Like I was home. It was crazy.

And to everyone else, get on those message boards! Not only is it fantastic support through your journey but as I have come to realise, you just never know where you will find true and lasting friendship. It could very well be in the next post.

Happy slimming

Would you believe it!!!

I had an early WI this morning as I fly out at a sparrows fart tomorrow

I LOST 1.8KG!

I am so excited I dont even know where to begin!!!!!

I am 1kg from goal and I am so freaking happy. My pipe dream has become my reality!

I managed a 5k run yesterday and the gym earlier in the week. I had planned to go again today but Lukes daycare provider is ill so I'm working from home with him today.

I know I'll have a pretty impressive gain next WI with this weekend away, but I could truly care less. I'm 29kg down with 1 to go and one weekend is only going to delay getting to goal, not make it impossible.

Too happy to make any sense so will sign off now. What a wonderful, wonderful day!

The Wendie Plan?

Hi everyone. Hope you are having a great week (the weather here stinks but its been a good week).

I was perusing the WW boards and came across a post about the Wendie Plan. I googled it and got directed here which explained it all and actually made sense.

I am considering giving it a try for a couple of weeks to see what happens.

At this blog I found the formula for points

Day 1 = +1
Day 2 = - 2
Day 3 = +10 (SHD)
Day 4 = - 4 (SLD)
Day 5 = normal points
Day 6 = - 1
Day 7 = - 4 (WI)

So my week would look like this

Day 1 = 20
Day 2 = 17
Day 3 = 29
Day 4 = 15
Day 5 = 19
Day 6 = 18
Day 7 = 15 (WI)

What do you think? Does anyone have any experience about this plan? I'd love any stories - successful or otherwise

WI day and a kick up the bum

WI day for me and feeling dejected after a 600 gram gain.

I can see where I went wrong and I suppose that’s something but its always cold comfort when the scales have moved in the wrong direction.

Friday last week we went to a friends for dinner where I blew points big time. The rest of the week saw me trying to claw back the points but I was patchy and did not follow the program.

I am allowed 19 points a day. Friday cost me 40 points so on Saturday, Sunday and Monday I decided (foolishly it would seem) to stick to 15 points so I could save my maximum of 4. Of course by Tuesday I was famished and after getting to 19 points and having 4 gins under my belt, it proved impossible to avoid eating the remains of a Garlic Nan and Rice with Butter Chicken curry sauce left over from DH’s Indian takeaway. Bad.

Wednesday was another 15 point day and so was yesterday, until I didn’t make enough dinner for myself (2 tiny pieces of fish and not enough vege’s) and caved into a muesli bar and a muffin split to fill the gap. More bad.

Exercise was also pretty nonexistent. I managed a 20 minute run and a session on the weights on Monday, and then a 30 minute run yesterday.

No wonder I gained.

So I think its about time I take my own advice this week:

• Drink my water
• Eat all my points – don’t cut back and don’t go over
• Get regular exercise
• Be kind to myself

I still feel hungry but I have a packed lunch - 10 points worth, which leaves enough for a decent dinner and a couple of Friday drinks – and I plan to go to the gym at lunch time. Gotta love the new, shiny week. Wipe the slate clean and get it right this time.

Onward and downward!

*Edited to add*

Wow! I was playing around with my online tracker and it seems I go over points more often than I realise!

This is my average for the year to date on points consumed, earned and saved as well as weight loss. I think I am actually in shock and am REALLY motivated now to rein in my points!

Supportive (and not so) friends

**Disclaimer - the following post is simply my thoughts and opinions on this topic and is not necessarily factual or proven***

Never underestimate how much you can gain from sharing your weight loss journey with friends and family.
Frankly, I believe the success you experience can be attributed to how much support you receive as you make healthier choices. Being accountable to someone other than yourself can be wonderful when you fall off the Mojo wagon or are having a rough time in your personal life but still want to stay focussed.

I am fortunate to have many supportive people in my life as I make these changes. DH is of course my most avid cheerleader. Never could I have anticipated that he would be so on board with this. Having never had a weight problem himself, and having some rather harsh judgements about overweight/obese people when we first got together (I was slimmer then and he never really understood why I got p*ssed off with him), I could never have foreseen how amazing he could be.
He cooks most of the meals in our house (which I think he does out of personal safety rather than enjoyment as I am really a shocking cook) and goes out of his way to make them within points and nutritionally balanced. He also enables me to find the time to track, plan and exercise. Without him in my corner, I would have faced many more challenges along the way.
As a result of choosing to embrace this lifestyle, he has learned a few things along the way about health and nutrition. He now runs and has completely changed his tune over his preconceived notions of those who struggle with their weight. He is more emphatic, and goes in to bat for us when others share the thoughts that he used to have. I'm proud of him for choosing to do this with me.

I have also had the privilege of making some incredibly good friends though Weight Watchers. Back in June '09, a group of us started an 8 week challenge on the message boards. We all got on like a house on fire and nearly a year and numerous challenges later, we are still speaking daily. Whether its via the WW boards, Facebook, or even text messages, these 7 wonderful friends are there for me whenever I need them.
Next Friday I get to meet them for the very first time in 'real life'. All 8 of us are going to Sydney for a weekend of chaos and I couldn't be more excited. We've cried with each other, vented our frustrations and cheered each other on. We have celebrated many wonderful weigh in's and commiserated over bad ones. We have shared almost every facet of our lives with each other and our commitment to ourselves and each other never fails to amaze me.
Would it be weird to say that these women are now among my best friends? Probably... but I'll say it anyway, and with pride.

I love you girls

Like many others though, I have also had my fair share of Toxic Friends . The ones that start out supportive but slowly become less so. The ones that from the word Go would say to your face that you wouldn't stick with it, or despite knowing that you are making better choices, try to passively sabotage your efforts. It can be very difficult to manage these friendships. And also to understand their motives. Some are Toxic out of a fear that you will look better than them. Others because it highlights that they could also be doing something about their weight and dont wish to be confronted with their reality. Then there are the friends and family who (no word of a lie) are convinced that you will change as a person when you have lost weight. So, what are your options?

• Confront it head on and talk to them about their concerns or that you have noticed they are XYZ with you. Discuss, reassure, but above all set your boundaries. This is a decision you are making for yourself and explain clearly that you would appreciate their support.
• Ignore it. Be aware that they are being unsupportive and may even attempt to be sabotaging your efforts, but make a firm commitment to yourself that you will not allow their issues to impede your progress. Enlist a supportive friend as a sounding board.
• Cut them loose. Hard to do and it may not need to be forever, but if you cant confront them and you cant ignore them, distance yourself. This time is about you and you need to put yourself first.

Remember that if the friendship is really forever, then some distance in the short term wont hurt it. Likewise confronting them in an unaggressive and open-minded manner.

More on Toxic Friendships (and what to look out for) can be found here

Spouses are harder to manage as you cant exactly get away from them!

Unsupportive spouses need careful consideration as they are more likely to be sabotaging your efforts out of fear and insecurity (assuming here that they dont have a history of being emotionally abusive). If you are making an effort to look better, feel better and change your lifestyle, some partners can wonder whether this is a prelude to you leaving them, or trying to attract someone new. This may challenge their security.
Also dont forget that when we start to eat better and exercise more, our partners also are affected by this: New meals, looking after the kids while you go to the gym in the evening etc. It can be quite one sided so be sure to have lots of open communication with your partner about these changes. Get their feedback on what impacts them time-wise and show that you value their input and the day to day changes that they will be living with also.

Generally speaking, if your partner is reassured in your affection for them and they feel they have some say over what changes impact them, most likely they will be there for you 100%.

Celebrate your achievements

I received an email from a friend of mine yesterday. She had hit a rough patch in her weight loss journey and was berating herself for her loss of focus over the last few weeks.

How many times have we all been there!

It got me thinking: Why are we so hard on ourselves? I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to downplaying my achievements and focussing on where I fall short. I think women are more susceptible to doing this - after all, we set such lofty goals for ourselves.

If you listen to societal expectations, we are meant to be successful in our careers, lifting up our friends and family when relied on, perfect wives, loving mothers, eternally patient, a sexpot between the sheets, well groomed, and ever smiling, all while maintaining a spotless house, running the household like a well oiled machine, able to fix anything from owies to holes in socks and be able to whip up a dinner for 8 at a moments notice when visitors descend unexpectedly.

Wow! No wonder we are tired!

Yet we are also meant to miraculously find the time to make for ourselves to pursue hobbies, a healthy lifestyle and maintain our sanity!

My friend did the right thing by reaching out to those around her. There are many times when we feel that putting our hand up and saying "I'm not doing so well, please help" could be perceived as Failure. How many times can you recall being stretched to the limit with a million things jammed into your day and someone comes along, offering help, and you catch yourself saying "No thanks, I'm fine. I've got it under control" when you are close to ripping your hair out.

We want to seem on top of it. We want to do it ourselves. And when things go wrong and we look back, we wonder how we ever thought that we could manage alone.

Weight loss can be like this. There is no shame in asking for a leg-up at times. Sometimes it can be as simple as saying the words out loud and verbalising how you feel. If this doesnt do the trick, an empathic supportive ear can do wonders for our peace of mind. Just knowing that there is someone in your corner, backing you, can really help. At times when we struggle to believe in ourselves, knowing someone else believes in us can be all we need to get through.

Take stock. Next time you give yourself a telling off for sliding off track over the last days or weeks, think back to the start of your journey. Focus on all the good days and weeks that you have had. Look at your achievements. Remember when you thought you couldnt get through the day without a full-fat Mocha Latte and its now been 3 months since you had one.

Look at how much exercise you get now, how much better you feel for it. Your clothes are smaller and you have become someones inspiration because of your commitment to yourself.

A bad day or a bad week does not a failure make. Giving up because you slipped is not going to help anyone.

And if you hadnt started this journey, where would you be now? Same weight as you started? Maybe more?

Give yourself permission to feel proud of yourself. You made the decision to look after yourself, feel better and look better. Focus on how far you have come instead of how far you have to go, and dont let negative self talk beat you.

Chances are that you are inspiring someone without even knowing it, and you owe it to yourself to keep going.

Fight the good fight, pick yourself up and climb back on the wagon. You deserve it.

New energy and recommitment

I've changed the layout of the blog to reflect the new energy I am feeling with this pursuit of a healthy lifestyle.

I was reading a post that Den made on the WW boards yesterday, and it was incredibly thought provoking. Now its time I need to admit that I have not been honest with myself. I've focused on the day-to-day steps for getting my eating under control but its been a while since I explored my emotions on the topic and how they effect me.

My self worth is not all that high at the best of times, and I thought this would change as I lost weight. I think its time to admit that I need to actively work on this aspect and not expect it to miraculously appear when I get to a certain number on the scales.

I wrote about self-love in my last post, and I still do believe I love myself. More than I used to, that is a given. However, I think I don't LIKE myself a lot of the time. And I also feel I shove these thoughts away when they occur because I dont want to examine them too closely.

Now, this isnt going to be a self-pity post, not by any stretch. But I've been hiding my true feelings from myself, and from you all for a long time and I suppose its time I get them out there - for self therapy if nothing else. Perhaps writing the words will make me have to confront them.

It all surfaced on Friday at work in a round-about way. I work with 4 men in a very relaxed office atmosphere. One day a week I work from home to be with Luke and the other 4 days I'm in this office. On Friday it was particularly quiet so about 10am I decided that I would work from home the rest of the day to get some housework done in between reading emails rather than pointlessly surfing the internet.

So I packed up my gear, said "not that anyone cares, but I'm going to work from home for the rest of the day" and started to leave.

One of the guys got REALLY shitty at me. Really shitty. Not about me leaving, but about the term "not that anyone cares". Now, I should add in at this point that I should have said "not that anyone minds", because that was the message I was meaning to get across. According to this guy, my choice of words was almost confrontational, poorly communicated and incited anger within him.

I was taken aback.

After getting chewed at for a minute I told him that if he had any issues he would like to discuss, please feel free to do so as I was sensing hostility. He invites me into his office and we had a discussion.

After I clarified what I meant with my comment he chilled out. He then went on to say that it was quite apparent to him that I had low self worth. I would slip in and out of the office without really greeting or fare welling anyone, and I kept to myself and didn't really engage.

When he put it like that, I could see how mis-perceptions can occur.

I am naturally shy. I dont like drawing attention to myself. Saying Good Morning or Catch Ya Later is something I thought I did far more than I apparently do. If people are busy in conversation I am hardly going to interrupt them just to say Bye. Also, I am the only female there and quite new to this office and these guys have all been working together for years. I have been trying to be careful not to upset the balance or change the dynamics by encroaching on their territory.

Anyway, I explained myself, he explained himself and we parted as friends.

It gave me a lot of pause for thought though. I do blend in to the background. In fact, I actively go out of my way to do so. If I make a mistake I find I almost expect myself to have done so. I take criticism on board because I want to change to fit in (or at least not stick out). I could list a million things that I put myself at the mercy of emotionally where I mold to the shape that others want me to be (with the exception of my personal relationships - I've always been very strong there).

Its quite confronting when I think about it. If I had to list my faults, they would include Lazy, Stubborn, Uptight, Impatient, Withdrawn, Cup Half Empty etc, etc. I expect people to dislike me when they first meet me. Or at the very least be indifferent towards me. So I tend to fold in on myself in new situations because if they arent going to like me anyway, what is the point of being extrovert and embarrassing myself?

Yet on the other hand there are parts of me that I do like. I like that I am stubborn because that gives me fight to never give up and admit defeat. I am a good friend to the people I let in, and i am an excellent mother. I am loyal and do not bitch about people behind their backs. I am supportive of those I love.

So how can I change my internal programming from assuming that I will stuff up or that people wont like me? How do I learn to have faith in my own abilities? How to I change the parts of my personality that I dont like, rather than what other people dont like?

I dont know. But all I can do is try.

So here is my commitment to myself. I am going to actively start working on my inner self, as well as my outer self. I am going to learn to accept myself, become more positive, and learn to be my own best friend.

I'm scared. But I'm stubborn :)

New person inside and out, and an improvement in all respects. Wish me luck.